The Bus Gauntlet.

OK - Picture this - you're sitting on a bus, and its just pulled into an estate or small town where most of the passengers will get off. Some have been shopping, some to see friends, and others on their daily commute to / from the office.

Then the bell sounds - someone is getting off. To be courteous, and to avoid heavy breaking, the passenger has signalled in plenty of time to alert the driver to stop at the next stop. Then it begins.

Each passenger it turn gets up and tries their hand at the Bus Gauntlet - the simple task of reaching the exit door, before the driver pulls in and stops. They take a few cautious steps, as the bus lurches towards a roundabout, bags in hand, hobbling and shuffling as best they can, without landing in the lap of someone, or losing much of their dignity.

They hang on to the yellow bar, looking at the next bar which looks near enough to grab. They let go and set out for this promised land of safety and no sooner have they let go than the bus driver, sensing them nearing, turns sharply to the left onto the roundabout, then sharply right around it, as if trying to shake off a vicious dog on the chase.

Grabbing on to the bar, and finding new resolve on the straighter roads, they advance their progress, even skipping a bar in between, but this is their grave mistake for now they enter the "brake zone". This is where the driver, fresh from the goodyear centre for brake pad testing, tries to slow down in the quickest amount of time, seeking to throw the passenger forward at great speed, and possibly floor them.

A quick recovery, several manic padding feet later, and we stop - the passenger relaxes and gets ready to get off, but they've forgotten how fast we were going, and they don't anticipate the sling-back effect that this rapid stopping is about to unleash. Sensing the stop they let go of the bar, begin to walk forward, and WHACK! They are thrown back with the final thrust into the other passengers who have now accumulated behind them, thanks to the g-force assistance provided a moment ago.

Then, after this sting in the tail, a most incredulous thing happens - as each person gets off, most THANK the driver for the ride. WHY? Perhaps they have derived a sense of the meaning of life from this near-death experience?

I would have asked someone, but I didn't have chance - it was my turn to run the bus gauntlet - so I pressed the bell, signalling my readiness.....