I am myself again....
Its been a while - a year to the day, in fact, since I wrote here.
Its funny though, because I think it might be the very thing that I'm struggling with that might be helpful to you also.
I was brought up a Christian, and have absorbed so much of being a Christian, and doing "church", that I did it for so many years, unthinking.
As I grew up, much of what I was taught seemed not to be true, or at least unverifiable. As a scientist, for instance, I look for evidence. There is overwhelming evidence for evolution, for instance, so I buy into almost all of that theory. It makes sense, and still is clearly happening today. Theories of planets, the age of the universe, quantum theory, its all there to be examined.
What of my faith, then? After reading "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins, I probably came as close to being an out-and-out a-theist as ever I have been, but something doesn't ring true there either. Its the certainty of it all. I am not certain there is a God. I am also not certain there isn't. Not because of creation, or miracles, or anything but grace.
What do I mean by grace? I mean the chance happenings of conversations, reminders and things stumbled upon that bring hope, life and direction. They are, like I said a while ago, like the plants growing out of the concrete. Those plants are massive now, and they flourish in desert conditions.
If you are sat alone and no-one has come to visit; if you have prayed for a miracle, and it just didn't come; if the words "if only" ring around your head because of things that could have been, look up - there *is* still hope, there *is* still grace - unmerited favour and provision in this life.
And even if its not from a supreme being, God, it is still worth grasping with all of your heart and mind and soul and strength - if its good, and life-affirming, and if it gives you hope, grab on to it in whatever form it comes, and perhaps share its arrival with others too - maybe on a blog like this - so that they can be encouraged to keep holding on.
Its funny though, because I think it might be the very thing that I'm struggling with that might be helpful to you also.
I was brought up a Christian, and have absorbed so much of being a Christian, and doing "church", that I did it for so many years, unthinking.
As I grew up, much of what I was taught seemed not to be true, or at least unverifiable. As a scientist, for instance, I look for evidence. There is overwhelming evidence for evolution, for instance, so I buy into almost all of that theory. It makes sense, and still is clearly happening today. Theories of planets, the age of the universe, quantum theory, its all there to be examined.
What of my faith, then? After reading "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins, I probably came as close to being an out-and-out a-theist as ever I have been, but something doesn't ring true there either. Its the certainty of it all. I am not certain there is a God. I am also not certain there isn't. Not because of creation, or miracles, or anything but grace.
What do I mean by grace? I mean the chance happenings of conversations, reminders and things stumbled upon that bring hope, life and direction. They are, like I said a while ago, like the plants growing out of the concrete. Those plants are massive now, and they flourish in desert conditions.
If you are sat alone and no-one has come to visit; if you have prayed for a miracle, and it just didn't come; if the words "if only" ring around your head because of things that could have been, look up - there *is* still hope, there *is* still grace - unmerited favour and provision in this life.
And even if its not from a supreme being, God, it is still worth grasping with all of your heart and mind and soul and strength - if its good, and life-affirming, and if it gives you hope, grab on to it in whatever form it comes, and perhaps share its arrival with others too - maybe on a blog like this - so that they can be encouraged to keep holding on.
posted by Squire at 4:43 AM
2 comments
